Miss Representation » Blog Archive » Rosario Dawson and Lisa Ling: Why Women Compete

Miss Representation » Blog Archive » Rosario Dawson and Lisa Ling: Why Women Compete

Sunday Morning Musing

It has been a busy, busy week. All of it good and I have actually been able to hold up. Home school went so well this week. I still feel that I am not doing enough.From what I read alot of home schooling parents feel that way. Krissy and I went on a field trip Friday to the http://www.marinersmuseum.org/. They had some cool stuff. It wasn't Krissy's kind of thing. She and I both enjoy places with animals. We love the Virgini Living Museum. We have been there several times and never get tired of it. At the Mainer's Museum my favorite thing would have to be the titanic display. We attended the class on hurricanes. Hurricanes is something we have been learning about in our science class. Over all it was a good day!! Yesterday we went up to see my brother. I don't really talk about him alot because people can be so judgmental. He is in prison and has been since he was 16 yo. I know most people feel they get what they deserve in prison, but I don't think I agree. Animals in animal shelters are treated better than people in prison. There still has to be some level of humanity for these people. They deal with the summer heat with no air condition and no air flow what so ever, the medical care..... the laws for animals are far more strict. They are feed grade D meat. Meat that the government does not allow us to eat. If there is a natural disaster of some sorts and the prison has to be evacuated...the guards are to kill all prisoners on the spot. I do so understand that there are some really bad people in there, but there are some not so bad ones to. All the above is straight up messed up!!! I will come down off my soap box for now.... just for now!

Dare to Risk

"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, live, and love." -- Leo Buscaglia Daring to risk is an essential step to self empowerment. This is the key to breaking out of stuck thinking and behaviour. It is about breaking through the comfort zones and barriers. It is about experiencing new levels of mind and feelings. It is about experiencing more life. "A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." -- George Bernard Shaw "Only those who risk going too far can know how far they can go." -- Unknown source

Letting go of fixation

‎"Letting go of fixation is effectively a process of learning to be free, because every time we let go of something, we become free of it. Whatever we fixate upon limits us because fixation makes us dependent upon something other than ourselves. Each time we let go of something, we experience another level of freedom." - Traleg Kyabgon Rinpoche

I Just Won 10 Swag Bucks on www.swagbucks.com

I Just Won 10 Swag Bucks on www.swagbucks.com

Remembering to be Thankful

The power of gratitude. Being grateful for what you have seems to be hard sometimes. It's so easy to focus on what we want and what we don't have and how we don't have money to get all the new gadgets. Every month your entire pay check goes to do nothing but pay bills. Life has been tough on my end for a while now. I lose sight some times of all the blessings I do have. I would love to get our boat fixed, I would love an Ipad, a new lap top, new cloths etc. I do get very depressed some times for not having money to even run to the grocery store. But when I stop and really think about it, I have so much to be thankful for. I have so much. I have a wonderful house, in which takes all of our money to run. I have cable tv, high speed internet, which cost more in the woods, My ref. and cabinets are full of food. But most of all we have each other. We are here together. My oldest child moved from Richmond close to home. She is now only 15 mins. away. My youngest is back home and my middle child is in and out, but never to far away.
For the last four years Rex has been driving to Hampton to work. Three hour trip a day. I worried about him being tired and driving home in the evening. He has gotten a job at VDOT right here close to home. Now we'll save about $300.00 a month in gas alone.
I do have so much to be grateful for. The Goddess has blessed me in so many ways. Sometimes I just need to stop myself and count my blessings instead of wanting more.
A simple life is far more less stressful and has so much more meaning.

What are you grateful for?

Busy Monday

Blessed Lammas today!!!

I have been slacking. Not that my life is so exciting. Megan and I went and did our grocery shopping at Wal-Mart yesterday. She goes and helps because I get very tired very quick because of the FMS. Plus I usually have 20 to 30 dollars in coupons. It takes forever to check out when you have that many coupons. It is good when it is all over and you see how much you have saved.

I have completed my Flylady chores for the day and I am working on supper. We will be having stuffed green peppers, One of my favorite meals. Then Krissy and I have a Dr. Appointment at 1:45. Yeap....that's my Monday, Monday.

Blessing

When We are Given the Tools

The past 3 years has been a tremendous challenge with my youngest child. She is 16 and I will have a birthday in December. Going through all of this with her has kept me from writing. I have never been one to air my dirty laundry to the public and this has been the fore front of my life. She has been in a residential home for the last six months. It is a long story and someday, maybe I will back track on it.
One thing I have learned through this is experience is, it is so painful for the people who love you, to be able to give you all the tools to help yourself and they not be accepted. I do believe we have choices in our life and I know when we are depressed we want to stay in that place. But all of us that have been through those times and have had the strength and will power to pull ourselves out of that dark hole, knows it can be done.
I am seeing that some are more comfortable with the drama of being depressed. That it is more comfortable being the victim. I grew up in a family of female fighters, survivors. It is so hard for me to be able to wrap my head around, choosing victim.
I know some people would debate this with me and tell me that people can't help depression etc. I don't buy it. I believe we have choices, I believe we have the Divine Goddess within us and we need to let her light shine. I believe that some times we need to be in the depths of hell to learn, discover and grow. I do not believe it is intended for us to stay in that place. Life is short and it is a gift.

Sunday,Sunday Coupons!!

Yeah, it's Sunday. Coupon day for me. Last weeks Sunday paper didn't have any coupons in it and I was jonesing all week. I have become addicted to couponing. It is true.

I don't get free items as they do on extreme couponing, but I have been saving a good amount on my groceries. I figure if I saved at least $15.00 every two weeks, That's $360.00 a year. That's almost a months worth of free groceries.

Plus in this day and time, we can't afford to be throwing away money. Not using coupons on items that you will buy anyway, is throwing away money.

I have been making myself sit down every two weeks to make out a two week menu plan. Then I make out my grocery list, check the sales and put my coupons together. I enjoying doing the organization. I used to just buy randomly at the store and I always forgot something or I wouldn't have what I needed or I still had to come up with something for dinner. Now everything is all planned out and I am a lot less stressed.
Happy Couponing!!!

To Blog or not to blog, that is the question

For a long time I have wanted to write. Then this blog stuff came out and I thought it might be a little easier to start here. But it has not been. I think in my head, my life isn't interesting enough to blog about, my English isn't good enough to blog. I have come up with a 1000 excuses not to write. It's so easy to put it off til later. Well, my life isn't perfect and neither am I..... who knew? Maybe my life isn't so exciting, but maybe it could touch someone else or inspire someone else. Maybe I need to just write for me.

I have been reading a blog by Fiddledeedee. http://www.fiddledeedee.net. Now her very young son has an infatuation with toilets. Yes you are reading this right. I have gotten the biggest tickle at reading her blog about her son. Yes it's a little weird, but I laugh every time I read a new one. So if someone can write a blog about kids and toilet infatuations, I am sure I have something along the way to share as well.

I have many interest from spirituality to cooking to home organization to beginning to homeschool my 16 yo. So "so be it". My life an open blog.

Yes, My Krissy is home and I am so deeply happy I don't even have words to express!!!

Create a great day!!

We can't escape

"Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them."
-- Orison Swett Marden

We can’t escape problems and negativity. Escaping just brings denial and suppression - we continue to carry the problem with us. Ironically, it is our lack of acceptance and resistance to the problem that creates the pain. Resistance builds up an energy wall or block that, if not discharged, gets suppressed into the body. These blocks identify places where we have not enough understanding or love.
For health, we must work through what we seek to avoid. How do we do this? We can love parts of ourselves that we don’t like. We can seek the lessons we are being invited to learn through the problem. We can examine our beliefs and seek to see different perspectives and a bigger picture. As our perspectives grow, more of life makes sense and has meaning.

Self talk is revealing

"If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words."
-- Chinese Proverb

What passes over your lips each day?
Are your words typically negative, critical, gossiping, deceptive, illusory, justifying, blaming, manipulative and argumentative? Are they more uplifting, inspirational, positive, questioning, beautiful, loving, universal, truthful, accepting and supportive?
The throat is our center of expression. Who we are sneaks out in our attitudes and in what we say.

"Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs."
-- Pearl Strachan Hurd

"The wise weigh their words on a scale with gold."
-- Bible

Open to awareness

"Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally, in the present moment, and then sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding."
-- Myla & Jon Kabat-Zinn

Why do we want to become more aware?
If we remain unaware, we:
- repeat the past,
- remain stuck in relationships,
- live superficial, literal and one dimensional lives,
- lack experiences of love and beauty, and
- have limited connection to others and the universe.
With awareness, we are fully involved with life. Awareness is sensing deeply and sensitively for what really is. To do this, we need to approach the present as totally new. When we can be open and attentive in each moment, we begin to free ourselves from the conditioning of the past and the suffering that it so often brings.

"If moment by moment you can keep your mind clear then nothing will confuse you."
-- Sheng Yen

Appreciation

"You can never get to peace and inner security without first acknowledging all of the good things in your life. If you're forever wanting and longing for more without first appreciating things the way they are, you'll stay in discord."
-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

Develop an attitude of gratitude. We discover a sense of wholeness as we appreciate both the small and big things in our lives. And it really helps to remember to appreciate ourselves. Appreciation is more than just acceptance -- it's respect and admiration. Let go of criticism and self-abuse.

"Generally, appreciation means some blend of thankfulness, admiration, approval, and gratitude. In the financial world, something that ‘appreciates’ grows in value. With the power tool of appreciation, you get the benefit of both perspectives: as you learn to be consistently thankful and approving, your life will grow in value."
-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

How are you sabotaging yourself?

"If you play it safe in life you've decided that you don't want to grow any more."
-- Shirley Hufstedler

How are you sabotaging your potential for change?
We unconsciously use defence mechanisms to shield us from situations we perceive to be scary or painful. A part of you may want to grow and change, but another part may be resisting because change always moves you into new territory in your thinking and emotions.
If you find you are getting anxious, fearful, angry, frustrated, dismissive or unmotivated, then defence mechanisms are at work. Watch for them and know them to be signs of fear that wants to hold you back. Then courageously move through them.

"I have never been contained except I made the prison."
-- Mary Evans

No judgment

Everything in life holds both a blessing and a curse. We deny this when we label the events of our lives as either good or bad. The following old Zen story illustrates this lesson most effectively.
A farmer had a horse but one day, the horse ran away and so the farmer and his son had to plow their fields themselves. Their neighbors said, "Oh, what bad luck that your horse ran away!" But the farmer replied, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
The next week, the horse returned to the farm, bringing a herd of wild horses with him. "What wonderful luck!" cried the neighbors, but the farmer responded, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"
Then, the farmer's son was thrown as he tried to ride one of the wild horses, and he broke his leg. "Ah, such bad luck," sympathized the neighbors. Once again, the farmer responded, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
A short time later, the ruler of the country recruited all young men to join his army for battle. The son, with his broken leg, was left at home. "What good luck that your son was not forced into battle!" celebrated the neighbors. And the farmer remarked, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"

"Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken."
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau

Life comes with problems

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
-- Fr. Alfred D’Souza

Life always brings problems. We really can’t live without them.
And so it helps to shift our perspective. We can stop trying to avoid the problems. We can stop feeling victimized by what’s happening. Instead, we can consciously work with the challenge of the moment to learn more about ourselves and the world. When we make this shift in attitude, we discover ourselves to be strong and powerful.

"Every lesson is a widening and deepening of consciousness. It is a stretching of the mind beyond its conceptual limits and a stretching of the heart beyond its emotional boundaries. It is a bringing of unconscious material into consciousness, a healing of past wounds, and a discovery of new faith and trust."
-- Paul Ferrini

Empower Yourself by Jane Powell

“Empower yourself by organizing clutter!”
Old medicines, stacks of books, clothes you never wear, Christmas cards from last year, piles of papers, towers of magazines and drawers full of who knows what. It’s called clutter, and the more it collects the less you want to deal with it.
Clutter can overwhelm you and drain your energy.
Eliminating clutter is healthy. No longer do you pour energy into looking through papers for that one lost item. No more do you ignore anxiety about piles that disguise forgotten responsibilities. No hours of frustration are added to your preparation for the day, as you pull wrinkled clothes from your closet because they’re wedged too tightly.
Suddenly, you’re in control! You know where to find things and you’re proud of your space.
Start clearing out your clutter today. Start small, by clearing out one drawer, one cabinet, or one shelf. You won’t feel overwhelmed and the results will give you the motivation to tackle the next pile.
Organization is a gift that you deserve. Give it to yourself, and get your power back!

What are you thinking?

"I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it."
-- William Faulkner

What have you been thinking lately?
Do you know? We get so accustomed to our thoughts that we lose awareness of them. We don’t see how they are stuck in old habitual patterns, most of which don’t serve us.
Take time to journal so you can capture your thoughts on paper. By doing so, you will begin to take control of your mind and use it to best advantage.

"When you choose to understand [and] exercise control over the functions and attributes of your own mind, you will be empowered to create your own reality, to be completely self-reliant and totally prosperous."
-- The Delfin Knowledge System

Reawaken your curiosity

"What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult."
-- Sigmund Freud

Why is this so?
Young children possess what Zen calls ‘beginner’s mind.’ They are awed and fascinated with the wonder of the world, open to discovering and experiencing new things. Anything is possible. Life is a great adventure.
For almost all of us, the systems that ‘educate’ us to be adults stifle our natural joy and curiosity. We lose touch with our innate appreciation of life. We forget how to dream.

The blessing is that with attention, patience and love, we can reawaken our sense of wonder. We can again dance with life.
"The mind WILL be free, or it will be dead."
-- Grace Llewellyn

"No one can find his work, what he really wants to put all of himself into, when everything he does he is made to do by others. This kind of searching must be done freely or not at all."
-- John Holt

We all need space -- free from demands, deadlines, expectations and judgments -- to explore who we are and what life is all about. Free time, with absolutely no agenda, is rich with potential. How can we grow if we have no space and freedom to dream?

"Deny children -- or anyone else -- the chance to do ‘nothing,’ and we may be denying them the chance to do ‘something’ -- to find and do any work that is truly important to themselves or to someone else."
-- John Holt

Follow your bliss."

Follow your bliss."
-- Joseph Campbell

It’s hard for some of us to believe that the world is served when we seek our own happiness. We’ve been taught that this is selfish.
If we stop to reflect on how we are in the world when we are happy, we can see how this serves. We have more vitality. We’re more loving and generous to others when our own needs are met.
What activities bring you greatest joy? Your unique gift to the world will be found in those pastimes you love the most.
How can you live your joy each day?

"Spiritual growth is not made in reaction against, for all striving against imposed restrictions is imaginary. Spiritual growth is accomplished by inclination toward. We grow like the sunflower, following the light."
-- Joy Houghton

Criticism

Buddha was well known for his ability to respond to evil with good. There was a man who knew about his reputation and he traveled miles and miles and miles to test Buddha. When he arrived and stood before Buddha, he verbally abused him constantly, he insulted him, he challenged him, he did everything he could to offend Buddha.

Buddha was unmoved, he simply turned to the man and said, “May I ask you a question?”
The man responded with “Well, what?”

Buddha said, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it to whom then does it belong?”


The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it”
Buddha smiled, “That is correct. So if I decline to accept your abuse does it not then still belong to you?”

The man was speechless and walked away.

If A Dog Were Your Teacher

These are some of the lessons you might learn...

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy

When it's in your best interest... Practice obedience
Let others know when they've invaded your territory
Take naps and stretch before rising
Run, romp and play daily

Thrive on attention and let people touch you
Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do
On warm days stop to lie on your back on the grass
On hot days drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree
When you're happy dance around and wag your entire body

No matter how often you're scolded... Don't buy into the guilt thing and pout,
run right back and make friends

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm
Stop when you have had enough
Be loyal
Never pretend to be something you're not

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it
When someone is having a bad day, be silent...
Sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

~~unknown

Support Through Silence

Support Through Silence
by Jane Powell

“Silence is sometimes the best answer.”
From an early age, we’ve all been taught the importance of problem solving. Yet, sometimes, we can help people more by not trying to find solutions. In fact, on occasion, silent listening and empathy can be a priceless gift.

People who are grieving the loss of a loved one or a relationship, need time to mourn, not quick solutions. They need you to listen while they pour out their hearts; they want a silent hug, not instant answers.

A friend who is ranting and raving about her partner may just need to let off steam. An understanding smile and a hand on the shoulder may be the best support you can give.

Why not try a little silence today? You may find it says more than a thousand words!

Heal the hurt

When you blame others for your troubles, you give them control of your life. Free yourself from your own anger, from your own resentment, and you’ll find vastly more room for serenity and abundance.

It’s bad enough if someone has wronged you in the past. Is it of any value for you to continue suffering from it?

Your best strategy is not to prolong the pain, or expand upon it. Your best strategy is to get past it as quickly as possible.

Whether or not anyone deserves your forgiveness is not the point. The point is, you deserve to forgive, to take back control of your life, so that you can live abundantly.

Your forgiveness may not even make a difference to those you forgive, if they’re even aware of it. For you, it makes all the difference in the world.

When it is you who is feeling the hurt, it is also you who can heal the hurt. Heal the hurt, and move past the pain, with forgiveness.

Ralph Marston

Pay attention to your emotions

"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions.... It's time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No magic pill will do it."
-- Doc Childre

Many of us believe that we need to keep a tight lid on our emotions. We fear that if we ever allow these emotions to be expressed, they will do serious damage.
But if we summon up the courage to truly feel our emotions, we discover that they don't last. The monster in the closet turns out to be a pussycat. In fact, if we are willing to experience our emotions completely, without resistance of any kind, they burn themselves out in only a few minutes.
The only thing that keeps emotions alive within you over long periods is your unwillingness to acknowledge them.

Be, do and have

"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you love to do, in order to have what you want."
-- Margaret Young

The formula for success is Be, Do, Have. If we seek abundance, we must be abundant in spirit. We can begin to cultivate spiritual wealth by opening our hearts in gratitude.
Start a gratitude journal today. Each evening, write down at least 5 things for which you are grateful. This simple tool will help you open your eyes to the abundance of your world right now.

"Who does not thank for little will not thank for much."
-- Estonian proverb

Listening

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you
have not done what I ask,
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I
shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do
something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that
may seem.
Listen! all I asked was that you listen, not to talk or do -just
hear me.
Advice is cheap: 50 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Bill
Graham in the newspaper.
And I can do that for myself. I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged
and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and
get about the business of understanding what's behind this
irrational feeling. And when that's clear, the answers are obvious
and I don't need advice.

PRAYER FOR SELF-LOVE

"Let the love we have for ourselves be so strong that we never again reject ourselves or sabotage our happiness, freedom, and love...
"Let the power of our self-love be strong enough to break all the lies we were programmed to believe -- all the lies that tell us we are not good enough, or strong enough, or intelligent enough, that we cannot make it. Let the power of our self-love be so strong that we no longer need to live our life according to other people's opinions. Let us trust ourselves completely to make the choices we must make...
"With the power of our self-love, let us enjoy what we see every time we look in the mirror. Let there be a big smile on our face that enhances our inner and outer beauty. Help us to feel such intense self-love that we always enjoy our own presence...
"Today is a new beginning. Help us to start our life over beginning today with the power of self-love. Help us to enjoy our life, to enjoy our relationships, to explore life, to take risks, to be alive, and to no longer live in fear of love."

don Miguel Ruiz

Seasons of Beauty Aging Gracefully

As we cultivate our life, our beauty becomes as much about what we are creating and doing as it is about our appearance.

We tend to associate youth with beauty, but the truth is that beauty transcends every age. Just as a deciduous tree is stunning in all its stages—from its full leafy green in the summer to its naked skeleton during winter and everything in between—human beings are beautiful throughout their life spans.

The early years of our lives tend to be about learning and experiencing as much as we possibly can. We move through the world like sponges, absorbing the ideas of other people and the world. Like a tree in spring, we are waking up to the world. In this youthful phase of life, our physical strength, youth, and beauty help open doors and attract attention. Gradually, we begin to use the information we have gathered to form ideas and opinions of our own. As we cultivate our philosophy about life, our beauty becomes as much about what we are saying, doing, and creating as it is about our appearance. Like a tree in summer, we become full, expressive, beautiful, and productive.

When the time comes for us to let go of the creations of our middle lives, we are like a tree in autumn dropping leaves, as we release our past attachments and preparing for a new phase of growth. The children move on, and careers shift or end. The lines on our faces, the stretch marks, and the grey hairs are beautiful testaments to the fullness of our experience. In the winter of our lives, we become stripped down to our essence like a tree. We may become more radiant than ever at this stage, because our inner light shines brighter through our eyes as time passes. Beauty at this age comes from the very core of our being—our essence. This essence is a reminder that there is nothing to fear in growing older and that there is a kind of beauty that comes only after one has spent many years on earth.

Daily Om

Relate to yourself through your journal

"To write spiritually is to engage in a search for authentic language. You’ll find your truth by writing your way to it."
-- Patrice Vecchione

Who would allow you to totally ignore, abuse, laugh with, swear at, shed tears on, get angry at and be totally honest with him/her? Your journal does.
Your journal is an unconditional friend. It does not reject, manipulate, judge, laugh at or ridicule you. It’s always there for you. So be honest with your best friend and it will help you discover who you are.

"The positive thing about writing is that you connect with yourself in the deepest way, and that's heaven. You get a chance to know who you are, to know what you think. You begin to have a relationship with your mind."
-- Natalie Goldberg

Support others with your presence

"The purpose of therapy is not to remove suffering but TO MOVE THROUGH IT to an enlarged consciousness that can sustain the polarity of painful opposites."
-- James Hollis
How do we support others who are suffering?
When we understand how soul works through us, we begin to see how pain generates the impulse to change. We see that our aim in supporting someone is NOT to get rid of their pain and suffering. Instead, we want to assist them to understand what the pain is trying to teach them -- to find meaning in their distress.
Often, all we need do is be fully present to them. It also helps to be present to our own experience and genuine in our feelings. Living our own truth helps create the space for the other person to live theirs.
"The first duty of love is to listen."
-- Paul Tillich
"With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing."
-- Catherine de Hueck Doherty

A Dynamic Choice-Maker Accepting Yourself

There is no such thing as a good person or a bad person; simply choices and actions that lead us in different directions.


There is no such thing as a good person or a bad person. There are choices and actions that lead us in different directions, and it is through those choices and actions that we create our realities. Sometimes we choose or do something that takes us in the opposite direction of the reality we want to create for ourselves. When we do this, we feel bad—uneasy, unhappy, unsure. We might go so far as to label ourselves “bad” when a situation like this arises. Instead of labeling ourselves, though, we could simply acknowledge that we made a choice that lead us down a particular path, and then let it go, forgiving ourselves and preparing for our next opportunity to choose, and act, in ways that support our best intentions.

Many of us experienced childhoods in which the words good and bad were used as weapons to control us—you were good if you did what you were told and bad if you didn’t. This kind of discipline undermines a person’s ability to find their own moral center and to trust and be guided by their own inner self. If you were raised this way, you may find yourself feeling shockwaves of badness when you do something you were taught was wrong, even if now you don’t agree that it’s bad. Conversely, you may feel good when you do what you learned was right. Notice how this puts you in something of a straitjacket. An important part of our spiritual unfolding requires that we grow beyond what we learned and take responsibility for our own liberation in our own terms.

You are a human being with every right to be here, learning and exploring. To label yourself good or bad is to think too small. What you are is a decision-maker and every moment provides you the opportunity to move in the direction of your higher self or in the direction of stagnation or degradation. In the end, only you know the difference. If you find yourself going into self-judgment, try to stop yourself as soon as you can and come back to center. Know that you are not good or bad, you are simply you.

Daily Om

How would you describe your place in the universe?

"We become powerful in the face of our fears when we have a sense that we make a difference in this world. Affirmations of purpose communicate the truth that we are all meaningful participants in this Universe and that we are worthy of giving and receiving love. Some affirmations of purpose are:
- I know that I count and I act as though I do.
- I spread warmth and love everywhere I go.
- I am a healing force in the Universe."
-- Susan Jeffers
"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."
-- Joseph Addison

Morning Musing: Cut Your Losses!

Dear Friends,

We all make mistakes! This is a fact of living. So why do we beat ourselves up when we have made a bad choice. I think it is because deep down inside we are doing what has been done to us all of our lives; punishing ourselves. This has got to stop.

Instead of admitting that we have made a bad choice we keep trying to make that decision work. Maybe we should take a lesson from business and cut our losses and move on. Instead we keep trying to fix things to make them better. Clutter is clutter no matter what form it takes.

You can't organize clutter; you can only get rid of it! I want your home to be filled with things that make you smile. Our lives are too short to continually deal with that pink elephant in the living room. One time a dear friend was moving from a home where she had lived twenty-seven years. It was hard for her to let go of things. Eventually she came up with a plan. If she had any doubt about whether something should be packed; she would set it in the main path to the truck. On the first day she would gingerly walk around the item. The next day she pushed it aside and if on the third day she kicked it; it when to the curb. This showed her that she really didn't love it as much as she had originally thought she had.

We can decorate that pink elephant but it is still a pink elephant. It is sucking the life right out of you. You spend your whole day doing your best to make it fit. God knows we don't want to admit that we made the mistake of bringing that pink elephant home in the first place; that we wasted money and worst of all our time. We just keep plodding along; hoping that the pink elephant will not get mad and become the bull in the china shop. The sad part is that it already has. Just being in your living room it is destroying the most important thing in your home and that is you!

Many years ago I had a diseased gallbladder. I was sick all the time. This gallbladder was toxic to me. Once it was removed I was able to get on with my life. Relationships can be like this too. We have all had people in our lives who suck the life right out of us. You may be with someone right now that is toxic to you. You may have a friend that uses you to make themselves feel superior. You may be struggling with an abuse situation that you hope and pray will get better. They don't get better. They get worse. This abuse can mean a lot of things: physical, emotional, sexual, drug, alcohol and financial.

It is time to cut your losses and strap on your wings to FLY; Finally Loving Yourself. For when you are FLYing, you realize when something is clutter in your life. As nurturers we really do want to help everyone but in the end, we can only help ourselves. This is not a selfish attitude. It is all about self preservation. This type of clutter is going to destroy your spirit.

Accept that you made a mistake! Forgive yourself and cut your losses by decluttering. In business if you lose a nickel on everything you sell and you sell a million of them; you are losing a million nickels. Stop the blood-letting!

It is time to FLY by Decluttering!

FlyLady

Let Go of Destructive Relationships

by Jane Powell
“A strong self-image requires a strong support system.”

While each of us is responsible for our own self-image, it’s important to have support, encouragement and inspiration from those we value.

Nothing erodes your self-image more quickly than unhealthy or destructive relationships. Seek out those who only want the best for you. Spend time with friends who cheer you on to reach your potential.

Nurture friendships that are positive and uplifting. Look for friends that listen attentively, that believe in you and encourage you. Your self-image will grow stronger until you can reach any goal!

What's happin'

My goodness life has seemed to be so full here lately. My oldest daughter and her partner has been here since before Yule. Most people can't wait for their kids to move out, I am so happy she is back. Wish my house was bigger we could just do like they did back in the day where families just lived together.
While ms. Krissy is away I have had my nose in books and researching homeschooling. This was something I swore I would never do. Now with the way things are within the high school here.... I wished I had done it sooner. Ever since I was a kid I heard about how the high school here suxed. I just did not believe it was that bad...well guess what, it is.
That is lie right at the moment along with running back and forth to Goochland and keepin' on Megan to do her home work. She got an A on her sociology test. Go Megan!!!

It's Never Too Late

No matter what is cycling through your head at this very moment, it’s never too late to set goals, to change your life. (Really, it’s not.) Often the hardest part to getting started is overcoming that overwhelmed feeling – the one that occupies your mind when you contemplate all that you have to do at once.

You think about how long it will take; what sacrifices you have to make. You become bewildered by the endless details and fall back to the comfortable feeling of saying you’ll start next Monday or at the beginning of next month.

Today is the day you put that kind of thinking behind you. Today, focus on taking the first step toward your most cherished goal. Take care of the first detail right now, whatever it may be. Start exercising, dieting or looking for a new job. You know what you need to do.

It’s not too late to get started.

Blog went poof

I had my little blog all written out in Microsoft word a couple of days ago and I went to paste a quote I wanted to share MW gave me an error and everything went poof. I have been having this problem with word since I have gotten this computer. It seems the only way to get the new word processing program is to pay for it. I went looking for something else to use. I went to downloads.com and I found openoffice. It is just like MW and will open all of microsofts documents. The best part of the program is it is FREE! It sold me...LOL
My quote was:
"When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?"
-- Robert Half
My FMS tip was:
Keep a pad and pen next to ref. so you can write down things you are out of and need to get from the grocery store.
However all of this didn't flow like I had planned it before.... what da world?? LOL
Hope everyone's weekend is awesome

Seek the inner cause of problems

"When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?"
-- Robert Half
What holds you back from being and doing more? In your journal, list what you believe is holding you back.
Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself? It's important to understand that ALL problems are rooted inside us. Even the blocks that appear to be outside of us are only reflecting back an issue we have inside that we have not yet owned. Once we address our inner issue, the outer situation no longer troubles us.
The buck always stops with us. We step into our power when we accept responsibility for our lives.
"The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life. That's when, ‘Why me?’ becomes a theme song."
-- Roger Dawson
"...look at that word blame. It's just a coincidence that the last two letters spell the word me. But that coincidence is worth thinking about. Other people or unfortunate circumstances may have caused you to feel pain, but only you control whether you allow that pain to go on. If you want those feelings to go away, you have to say: ‘It's up to me.’"
-- Arthur Freeman
"Don't make excuses -- make good."
-- Elbert Hubbard

FMS and keeping organized

One of the worse things to deal with, with FMS is fibro fog. Fibro fog is when your short term memory comes and goes. You can be in the middle of a sentence and forget what you were saying. Or try to recall someones name and your mind just goes blank.
Here is a nifty little calendar where you can put all the dates you need to remember and your to do list. It can be color coded to each member of your family and the calendar gets sent out to each member of the family on Sundays.
http://www.cozi.com/

Fibromyalgia stinks

When I thought I wanted to start a blog I didn't want it to be about fibromyalgia. I had in mind it would be a place I would share spiritual information. However FMS is what is in the forefront of my life. It has been for the past 2 1/2 years. All of it has been an uphill battle. I have been on so many medications. Some that help a little and some that made me straight up ill. I have to deal with the depression of not being able to get up and do and go as I had always done. Before FMS hit in full force, I was an active person. I walked everyday at least a mile with my dogs. I hiked the parks in my area and have hiked up to 6 miles. I climbed to the top of a mountain. All of this seems so far behind. Yesterday I walked 15 mins. on the tread mill and went outside to play ball with my puppy. Today I can get off the couch because I am in so much pain. I am scared that it's not just a flare up. The Dr. put me on tramadol and I have been doing well on it. When I start to hurting like this I fear it won't stop and I won't be able to do anything. I guess I will keep my fingers cross and say a little healing prayer to the mother Goddess.

Life is what you make it

Succeed at Anything You Choose
by Jane Powell

No one is responsible for your happiness, sadness or success. No one but you. Yes, you!
The day you take complete responsibility for yourself and your choices is the day you start a journey toward grand personal fulfillment.

You’re the only one that lives your life. Believe it or not, you do have the power to succeed at anything you choose. The strength to fulfill your dreams is within you, at this very moment. Accepting responsibility without excuses, frees your power to achieve.

You can do it. So, do it today!