How are you sabotaging yourself?

"If you play it safe in life you've decided that you don't want to grow any more."
-- Shirley Hufstedler

How are you sabotaging your potential for change?
We unconsciously use defence mechanisms to shield us from situations we perceive to be scary or painful. A part of you may want to grow and change, but another part may be resisting because change always moves you into new territory in your thinking and emotions.
If you find you are getting anxious, fearful, angry, frustrated, dismissive or unmotivated, then defence mechanisms are at work. Watch for them and know them to be signs of fear that wants to hold you back. Then courageously move through them.

"I have never been contained except I made the prison."
-- Mary Evans

No judgment

Everything in life holds both a blessing and a curse. We deny this when we label the events of our lives as either good or bad. The following old Zen story illustrates this lesson most effectively.
A farmer had a horse but one day, the horse ran away and so the farmer and his son had to plow their fields themselves. Their neighbors said, "Oh, what bad luck that your horse ran away!" But the farmer replied, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
The next week, the horse returned to the farm, bringing a herd of wild horses with him. "What wonderful luck!" cried the neighbors, but the farmer responded, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"
Then, the farmer's son was thrown as he tried to ride one of the wild horses, and he broke his leg. "Ah, such bad luck," sympathized the neighbors. Once again, the farmer responded, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
A short time later, the ruler of the country recruited all young men to join his army for battle. The son, with his broken leg, was left at home. "What good luck that your son was not forced into battle!" celebrated the neighbors. And the farmer remarked, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"

"Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken."
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau

Life comes with problems

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
-- Fr. Alfred D’Souza

Life always brings problems. We really can’t live without them.
And so it helps to shift our perspective. We can stop trying to avoid the problems. We can stop feeling victimized by what’s happening. Instead, we can consciously work with the challenge of the moment to learn more about ourselves and the world. When we make this shift in attitude, we discover ourselves to be strong and powerful.

"Every lesson is a widening and deepening of consciousness. It is a stretching of the mind beyond its conceptual limits and a stretching of the heart beyond its emotional boundaries. It is a bringing of unconscious material into consciousness, a healing of past wounds, and a discovery of new faith and trust."
-- Paul Ferrini

Empower Yourself by Jane Powell

“Empower yourself by organizing clutter!”
Old medicines, stacks of books, clothes you never wear, Christmas cards from last year, piles of papers, towers of magazines and drawers full of who knows what. It’s called clutter, and the more it collects the less you want to deal with it.
Clutter can overwhelm you and drain your energy.
Eliminating clutter is healthy. No longer do you pour energy into looking through papers for that one lost item. No more do you ignore anxiety about piles that disguise forgotten responsibilities. No hours of frustration are added to your preparation for the day, as you pull wrinkled clothes from your closet because they’re wedged too tightly.
Suddenly, you’re in control! You know where to find things and you’re proud of your space.
Start clearing out your clutter today. Start small, by clearing out one drawer, one cabinet, or one shelf. You won’t feel overwhelmed and the results will give you the motivation to tackle the next pile.
Organization is a gift that you deserve. Give it to yourself, and get your power back!

What are you thinking?

"I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it."
-- William Faulkner

What have you been thinking lately?
Do you know? We get so accustomed to our thoughts that we lose awareness of them. We don’t see how they are stuck in old habitual patterns, most of which don’t serve us.
Take time to journal so you can capture your thoughts on paper. By doing so, you will begin to take control of your mind and use it to best advantage.

"When you choose to understand [and] exercise control over the functions and attributes of your own mind, you will be empowered to create your own reality, to be completely self-reliant and totally prosperous."
-- The Delfin Knowledge System

Reawaken your curiosity

"What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult."
-- Sigmund Freud

Why is this so?
Young children possess what Zen calls ‘beginner’s mind.’ They are awed and fascinated with the wonder of the world, open to discovering and experiencing new things. Anything is possible. Life is a great adventure.
For almost all of us, the systems that ‘educate’ us to be adults stifle our natural joy and curiosity. We lose touch with our innate appreciation of life. We forget how to dream.

The blessing is that with attention, patience and love, we can reawaken our sense of wonder. We can again dance with life.
"The mind WILL be free, or it will be dead."
-- Grace Llewellyn

"No one can find his work, what he really wants to put all of himself into, when everything he does he is made to do by others. This kind of searching must be done freely or not at all."
-- John Holt

We all need space -- free from demands, deadlines, expectations and judgments -- to explore who we are and what life is all about. Free time, with absolutely no agenda, is rich with potential. How can we grow if we have no space and freedom to dream?

"Deny children -- or anyone else -- the chance to do ‘nothing,’ and we may be denying them the chance to do ‘something’ -- to find and do any work that is truly important to themselves or to someone else."
-- John Holt