Support Through Silence

Support Through Silence
by Jane Powell

“Silence is sometimes the best answer.”
From an early age, we’ve all been taught the importance of problem solving. Yet, sometimes, we can help people more by not trying to find solutions. In fact, on occasion, silent listening and empathy can be a priceless gift.

People who are grieving the loss of a loved one or a relationship, need time to mourn, not quick solutions. They need you to listen while they pour out their hearts; they want a silent hug, not instant answers.

A friend who is ranting and raving about her partner may just need to let off steam. An understanding smile and a hand on the shoulder may be the best support you can give.

Why not try a little silence today? You may find it says more than a thousand words!

Heal the hurt

When you blame others for your troubles, you give them control of your life. Free yourself from your own anger, from your own resentment, and you’ll find vastly more room for serenity and abundance.

It’s bad enough if someone has wronged you in the past. Is it of any value for you to continue suffering from it?

Your best strategy is not to prolong the pain, or expand upon it. Your best strategy is to get past it as quickly as possible.

Whether or not anyone deserves your forgiveness is not the point. The point is, you deserve to forgive, to take back control of your life, so that you can live abundantly.

Your forgiveness may not even make a difference to those you forgive, if they’re even aware of it. For you, it makes all the difference in the world.

When it is you who is feeling the hurt, it is also you who can heal the hurt. Heal the hurt, and move past the pain, with forgiveness.

Ralph Marston

Pay attention to your emotions

"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions.... It's time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No magic pill will do it."
-- Doc Childre

Many of us believe that we need to keep a tight lid on our emotions. We fear that if we ever allow these emotions to be expressed, they will do serious damage.
But if we summon up the courage to truly feel our emotions, we discover that they don't last. The monster in the closet turns out to be a pussycat. In fact, if we are willing to experience our emotions completely, without resistance of any kind, they burn themselves out in only a few minutes.
The only thing that keeps emotions alive within you over long periods is your unwillingness to acknowledge them.

Be, do and have

"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you love to do, in order to have what you want."
-- Margaret Young

The formula for success is Be, Do, Have. If we seek abundance, we must be abundant in spirit. We can begin to cultivate spiritual wealth by opening our hearts in gratitude.
Start a gratitude journal today. Each evening, write down at least 5 things for which you are grateful. This simple tool will help you open your eyes to the abundance of your world right now.

"Who does not thank for little will not thank for much."
-- Estonian proverb

Listening

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you
have not done what I ask,
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I
shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do
something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that
may seem.
Listen! all I asked was that you listen, not to talk or do -just
hear me.
Advice is cheap: 50 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Bill
Graham in the newspaper.
And I can do that for myself. I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged
and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and
get about the business of understanding what's behind this
irrational feeling. And when that's clear, the answers are obvious
and I don't need advice.

PRAYER FOR SELF-LOVE

"Let the love we have for ourselves be so strong that we never again reject ourselves or sabotage our happiness, freedom, and love...
"Let the power of our self-love be strong enough to break all the lies we were programmed to believe -- all the lies that tell us we are not good enough, or strong enough, or intelligent enough, that we cannot make it. Let the power of our self-love be so strong that we no longer need to live our life according to other people's opinions. Let us trust ourselves completely to make the choices we must make...
"With the power of our self-love, let us enjoy what we see every time we look in the mirror. Let there be a big smile on our face that enhances our inner and outer beauty. Help us to feel such intense self-love that we always enjoy our own presence...
"Today is a new beginning. Help us to start our life over beginning today with the power of self-love. Help us to enjoy our life, to enjoy our relationships, to explore life, to take risks, to be alive, and to no longer live in fear of love."

don Miguel Ruiz

Seasons of Beauty Aging Gracefully

As we cultivate our life, our beauty becomes as much about what we are creating and doing as it is about our appearance.

We tend to associate youth with beauty, but the truth is that beauty transcends every age. Just as a deciduous tree is stunning in all its stages—from its full leafy green in the summer to its naked skeleton during winter and everything in between—human beings are beautiful throughout their life spans.

The early years of our lives tend to be about learning and experiencing as much as we possibly can. We move through the world like sponges, absorbing the ideas of other people and the world. Like a tree in spring, we are waking up to the world. In this youthful phase of life, our physical strength, youth, and beauty help open doors and attract attention. Gradually, we begin to use the information we have gathered to form ideas and opinions of our own. As we cultivate our philosophy about life, our beauty becomes as much about what we are saying, doing, and creating as it is about our appearance. Like a tree in summer, we become full, expressive, beautiful, and productive.

When the time comes for us to let go of the creations of our middle lives, we are like a tree in autumn dropping leaves, as we release our past attachments and preparing for a new phase of growth. The children move on, and careers shift or end. The lines on our faces, the stretch marks, and the grey hairs are beautiful testaments to the fullness of our experience. In the winter of our lives, we become stripped down to our essence like a tree. We may become more radiant than ever at this stage, because our inner light shines brighter through our eyes as time passes. Beauty at this age comes from the very core of our being—our essence. This essence is a reminder that there is nothing to fear in growing older and that there is a kind of beauty that comes only after one has spent many years on earth.

Daily Om